Monday, July 1, 2013

Missing Amy

I haven't felt like writing lately. I haven't felt like doing much really. I do the things I have to do, but  don't seem to have much interest in anything. I've been watching a lot of TV and movies and reading fiction stories. I guess I just don't really want to be in my story right now and would rather fill my head with other stories. 
My husband and I bought a used car this week. Normally, I would be extremely excited, but everything is different with my sweet Amy gone. We had to have another vehicle so we can take our van down to the place we got it so they can sell it for us. I would much rather have Amy here and keep the van than to have a new vehicle. It is very nice and just right for two people. 
Two People. That's it. Just us. 
I know most parents go through the empty nest when all the kids leave home, but we never thought we would have an empty nest.
I've just been missing Amy a lot. 
I'm trying to move on, slowly. I'm letting God give me rest right now and at some point I know I will care about life again, my house, my garden and  doing something for the church.
A friend at church yesterday told me that today's society expects you to grieve but move on with life quickly. 
There is no black wreath on my door, no black armbands or black dresses to be worn for a year like it used to be. We are to bury our grief deep inside and put on a smile.
I try. But I also tell people that I'm having a bad day, or I just don't answer the phone or go to the door. 
I'm telling myself that it's okay to grieve.
My sweet Amy I miss you so much.


  1. Yes, dear sister, it's OK to grieve.

    These are beautiful photos of our sweet Amy.

    I love you.