Monday, April 29, 2013

My sister posted this on Facebook for me...

Amy started Chapter One of the Great Story three weeks ago today.

Amy loved the Narnia books. We have them all on CD from Focus on the Family Radio Theater and they are dramatized. She listened to them over and over. We would talk about Aslan being like Jesus and the new Narnia in the last book being like heaven. We would imagine together what heaven would be like and often talk about the beauty and the colors and even the animals that would be there. The last few weeks of Amy's life we were listening to the series again while she was in the hospital. We weren't able to finish the series this time but just a few days before she died I asked her if she thought the animals might be able to talk in heaven and she just gazed into my eyes and gave me a hint of a smile. She was so weak that even smiling was hard work for her. I treasure those moments we had together.
C.S. Lewis has influenced me in my understanding of what heaven might be like. The Bible tells us some, but a lot of it is unknown. If God made this world so beautiful, why would heaven not be even more so? Amy and I talked about riding horses together, climbing mountains, playing with animals, and singing. Most of all singing. 

 I can't wait to hear her voice!

I read a blog that talked about heaven much better than I can. You can read about it here.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Two weeks ago today...

Two weeks ago today, we celebrated Amy's life publicly and then put her body with her "blankie", favorite stuffed animals, with the flowers and butterflies that had hung above her bed into the ground. We released balloons and watched them rise over the cemetery, over our home in the valley where Amy lived all her life, drift up over the mountain and disappear.

I would be lying if I said this last week has been easy. Monday, we realized our son's dog had disappeared. We have searched but have no hope that we will find her alive. On Wednesday I took my 82 year old parents to the airport for their flight back home 1000 miles away.  Today, the farrier came to trim Amy's pony's hooves. I had failed to call him and tell him that Cocoa had died just a week before Amy died.
Tears come often and even gut wrenching sobs till I think my heart will burst from my chest. 
There were a few high points also.
Wheels for the World, from Joni and Friends, came and picked up Amy's wheelchairs. We had three of them that we were able to donate. They will be refurbished and sent overseas to needy disabled children.
My daughters took me shopping and I managed to get through most of the trip without tears.
Today I looked through all the cards people have sent to us. Almost 200!
Amy's life has made an impact on so many people. It was comforting to read their words again.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." 
Matthew 5:4

Friday, April 26, 2013

It's Only Just the Beginning!

"Give sorrow words; 
the grief that doesn't speak whispers o'er
the fraught heart and bids it break."

I read this quote by Shakespeare a few days ago in a Jan Karon novel and it jumped out at me. I've never been fond of writing. I spend too much time dissecting my words, worrying about my grammar, reading what I have written over and over. I didn't even know what a blog was until a few years ago when I discovered Ann Voskamp's "A Holy Experience."

And then Amy died.

So now, I am going to attempt to give my sorrow words, to continue to share Amy's story with whoever wants to read it because Amy's story didn't stop the day her life ended on this earth.

It's only just beginning!