Saturday, August 9, 2014

Sixteen Months

Yesterday marked the 16th month that Amy has not been with us here on this earth. I handled the day much better than I have yet. I think it is because I am relying more on God's Words and not so much on my emotions. On the 26th of July I posted this on Facebook.  "Instead of always feeling like my arms are empty and my hands have nothing to hold, I need to remember this instead...........My arms will forever be full, my hands will never be empty, because you were once in them."  

The Lord has been giving me strength as I lean on Him. 
I have been very busy getting all the art supplies ready for Bible School and making samples of each of the crafts. I haven't helped with Bible School since the children were little and I thought I would try this year. It starts tomorrow evening and will keep me busy each night for the next week! 

I also attended a Women of Faith conference in Fairfax, VA a week ago. 
I had never been to one before and it was a life changing event for me. They had a wonderful worship band and the second song we sang was Amy's song, "Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone" I was able to get through it although there were tears. It helped that my daughter-in-law was right beside me. Her  baby bump reminding me of the new life soon to be with us.  The speakers were great and I was encouraged to be brave, to be bold, and to use the gifts God has given me. I decided I don't want to just exist and keep wandering in the desert. I want to cross over the Jordan and enter the Promised Land and let God lead my life as He wills. He is writing a different story to my life than what I expected Him to, but I want to live in my story; I want to be someone.......someone that my grandchildren will be proud of and look up to. 

God also gave me a precious gift at the conference besides the speakers and the music. During the first evening, I looked down and on the landing was a young lady in a wheelchair. I knew I had to talk to her during the break. I did. She had a huge beautiful smile. She had trouble talking and keeping control of her arms, so I did not know how much she could understand. I gave her a brochure of Amy's story and told her that I was glad she was there and able to enjoy the conference. Of course, I cried some more!
Toward the end of the evening Sheila Walsh sang the hymn, "Amazing Grace," and I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the beauty of her voice and the music. When I opened them, the young lady was gone. I wondered if she was real.  Did others see her? Did she still have Amy's Story?  
The next morning we were running really late and I didn't see her until we had already sat down and there she was! It made me happy and I knew that I would try to interact with her again. So during the break I talked to her. I asked her if she remembered me and if she had someone read Amy's story to her. And then she said very slowly but clearly ."I ........ can ........  read!"  Wow! I asked her if I could give her a hug and she smiled and nodded. I hugged her and told her I missed my Amy. She said, "Amy happy."  I was so touched, almost if God was speaking through her to me.  During the lunch break she had someone with her, a friend and she gave me the young lady's business card. Her name is Angela and she is an advocate for disability rights and an educational presenter. She works in Washington DC in a senator's office.  Her personal motto on her card is, "Sharing the Gifts of Life." I told her that I had a small gift for her. I had just purchased some toddler books for my soon to come grandson and they came with a pink teddy bear that has Women of Faith on it. I asked her if she would like the bear. She gave me another big smile and said, "yesss!"  Her friend said that pink was her favorite color.  She has a website:
She hasn't posted for awhile but you can see her picture. 

She asked her friend to take our picture and we exchanged emails but I haven't heard from her yet, so I emailed her and I hope to hear from her soon. I saw Angela one more time on the last break before the conference ended. I introduced  Laura to her and then asked for another hug. She agreed and as I hugged her she said, "Amy happy...with Jesus." And again a huge smile on her face. She was and is so precious. My gift from God to bless me that special weekend.  Anytime I think of her, I just can't help but smile. 
Amy is with Jesus and she is gloriously happy. I am slowly learning to be happy also. Thank you, my Jesus. 
 Laura only has 6 or 7 more weeks to go!

And today I signed up to do fundraising walk for a little friend of mine who is battling a disease. Something else I have never done before! 
And if you would like to help me reach my goal of $250 you can donate here:
fundraiser for Chloe