Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Time is Counting Up

 In June Emily and I started an eight week Bible study for the summer, Children of the Day, and because of her busy schedule we have one week left yet. We might get it done before the calendar officially says summer is over!  As we were sharing in the on-line potion of the study Sunday afternoon, it was mentioned that God created time. In the world's view, time goes. The passing of time,  time quickly slips away, where has the time gone,  it seems like that was just yesterday,  and I'm sure you can come up with many more of those types of sayings. But in God's time or the Bible's time, time comes. It doesn't go. Time is counting up, not down,  to when all will be revealed and we will live in eternity. The time right now is just for a little while.

Since my last posting, I have been very busy! Bible school week was wonderful, we had a record attendance and precious children and teens. But I have realized that it is not my calling in life to work with 20-30 children at one time, especially three times over,  every night for a week! I'm glad I followed God's leading in doing this, many said they loved the art projects and the kids were just adorable, but next year, if I volunteer, it will be to work behind the scenes or maybe in the nursery or kitchen.

On September 1, I left home to travel to my sister's in Ohio. My older sister from Maine had flown in and then we three plus my niece drove to Iowa to spend a week with our parents.  This photo was taken after church Sunday morning.

Although I have a smile on my face, it was not an easy week for me. There had been some conflicts and misunderstandings between one sister and myself  and with my parents advancing in years, there were issues they wanted to discuss.  I can't help but feel that we will all never be together again in this life. And I'm sure all three of us sisters will not be together again until another funeral unites us, as Amy's did. 

On the seventeenth month anniversary of her death I posted on Facebook, "On the 17th month anniversary of Amy's home going I chose to go to our county fair with my sisters and mother. Life does go on, but it will never be the same." 

 The only thing that I remember that is the same about the fair is the entrance.

We did have some fun times.  We all crammed into the free photo booth and looked at the 4H exhibit and ate fair food. Other days we went shopping and out to eat, and to church so we could all worship together.

Nelson Jewelry is where Bill purchased my engagement ring in 1976 and where we purchased our wedding bands in 1977. They are one of the few businesses still in business 37 years later!

The morning of our last day  my daddy and I went to the cemetery and I put a small basket of flowers I had wired together on my sister and  little grandmas grave. 

I found this writing a few weeks ago from Beth Moore.

Life can be painful here. 
Loss is inevitable. 
So let us grieve when we must, but God forbid that we grieve as the  hopeless do. 
In His hands, we find solace.
In His heart, we find rest. 
In His time, we find meaning. 
In His eyes, we are blessed. 
In His strength, we're made mighty. 
In His light, morning breaks. 
In His word, He has promised
In His coming, sleepers wake. 

I will be able to hold my grandson any day now. We are just waiting!  

And in two weeks I am will be doing my walk for Chloe.  

If you would like to help me reach my goal you can donate here:   for Chloe

And more wonderful news----- 

Tessa, who was married last February, is expecting in April  2015.  Her due date is two years to the day that we celebrated Amy's last birthday, just two days before she died.  

Amy is telling us to rejoice! 

God is growing my family. 

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Sixteen Months

Yesterday marked the 16th month that Amy has not been with us here on this earth. I handled the day much better than I have yet. I think it is because I am relying more on God's Words and not so much on my emotions. On the 26th of July I posted this on Facebook.  "Instead of always feeling like my arms are empty and my hands have nothing to hold, I need to remember this instead...........My arms will forever be full, my hands will never be empty, because you were once in them."  

The Lord has been giving me strength as I lean on Him. 
I have been very busy getting all the art supplies ready for Bible School and making samples of each of the crafts. I haven't helped with Bible School since the children were little and I thought I would try this year. It starts tomorrow evening and will keep me busy each night for the next week! 

I also attended a Women of Faith conference in Fairfax, VA a week ago.  http://www.womenoffaith.com/#revival 
I had never been to one before and it was a life changing event for me. They had a wonderful worship band and the second song we sang was Amy's song, "Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone" I was able to get through it although there were tears. It helped that my daughter-in-law was right beside me. Her  baby bump reminding me of the new life soon to be with us.  The speakers were great and I was encouraged to be brave, to be bold, and to use the gifts God has given me. I decided I don't want to just exist and keep wandering in the desert. I want to cross over the Jordan and enter the Promised Land and let God lead my life as He wills. He is writing a different story to my life than what I expected Him to, but I want to live in my story; I want to be someone.......someone that my grandchildren will be proud of and look up to. 

God also gave me a precious gift at the conference besides the speakers and the music. During the first evening, I looked down and on the landing was a young lady in a wheelchair. I knew I had to talk to her during the break. I did. She had a huge beautiful smile. She had trouble talking and keeping control of her arms, so I did not know how much she could understand. I gave her a brochure of Amy's story and told her that I was glad she was there and able to enjoy the conference. Of course, I cried some more!
Toward the end of the evening Sheila Walsh sang the hymn, "Amazing Grace," and I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the beauty of her voice and the music. When I opened them, the young lady was gone. I wondered if she was real.  Did others see her? Did she still have Amy's Story?  
The next morning we were running really late and I didn't see her until we had already sat down and there she was! It made me happy and I knew that I would try to interact with her again. So during the break I talked to her. I asked her if she remembered me and if she had someone read Amy's story to her. And then she said very slowly but clearly ."I ........ can ........  read!"  Wow! I asked her if I could give her a hug and she smiled and nodded. I hugged her and told her I missed my Amy. She said, "Amy happy."  I was so touched, almost if God was speaking through her to me.  During the lunch break she had someone with her, a friend and she gave me the young lady's business card. Her name is Angela and she is an advocate for disability rights and an educational presenter. She works in Washington DC in a senator's office.  Her personal motto on her card is, "Sharing the Gifts of Life." I told her that I had a small gift for her. I had just purchased some toddler books for my soon to come grandson and they came with a pink teddy bear that has Women of Faith on it. I asked her if she would like the bear. She gave me another big smile and said, "yesss!"  Her friend said that pink was her favorite color.  She has a website: www.angelaywest.com
She hasn't posted for awhile but you can see her picture. 

She asked her friend to take our picture and we exchanged emails but I haven't heard from her yet, so I emailed her and I hope to hear from her soon. I saw Angela one more time on the last break before the conference ended. I introduced  Laura to her and then asked for another hug. She agreed and as I hugged her she said, "Amy happy...with Jesus." And again a huge smile on her face. She was and is so precious. My gift from God to bless me that special weekend.  Anytime I think of her, I just can't help but smile. 
Amy is with Jesus and she is gloriously happy. I am slowly learning to be happy also. Thank you, my Jesus. 
 Laura only has 6 or 7 more weeks to go!

And today I signed up to do fundraising walk for a little friend of mine who is battling a disease. Something else I have never done before! 
And if you would like to help me reach my goal of $250 you can donate here:
fundraiser for Chloe