Saturday, April 19, 2014

Amy's Song

     On the anniversary of Amy's funeral, April 13th, my sister and my niece posted this picture on facebook.  My niece added this message:
"Words can't express how much this picture means to me. Its one of those rare opportunities when everyone I love so dearly were gathered in one spot. Although I wish it was under different circumstances, this is one of my favorite pictures of my whole life."

 My sweet parents are in the middle, my two sisters with their families to my left, my own family to my right and my dear sister-in-law (who has always been like my own sister) is to my far right. I've got my eyes closed and a small smile on my face.  The last time we were all together was almost 10 years before for my parents 50th anniversary.  Three more children had joined the family, and now one was missing. 


 One was missing.......my precious Amy. 

 Even though we are all together, I will never frame this picture or display it. I see smiles, but I only feel sorrow. Isn't it strange how the outside of the face doesn't always show what is in the heart?

A few days ago my sister posted Chris Tomlin's "I Will Rise." 
Even though most refer to "Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone", as Amy's song, in my heart "I Will Rise" is truly Amy's song. This is the one she wanted to sing, that came from her heart. I wrote about this on July 27, 2013.
http://thisisamystory.blogspot.com/2013/07/i-will-rise.html

As I was listening to it one more time, I seemed to hear it anew. Amy doesn't have any sorrow or pain anymore. She is hearing the angels sing, "Worthy is the Lamb," 
She is singing..........
How can I be sad? 
My Amy is singing! 
She doesn't have anymore pain! 
She is happy! 
 

I have reason to rejoice this Easter!



To listen to Chris Tomlin sing this song, click on the link below.
I Will Rise
And here are the words.

"I Will Rise"

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise


Happy Easter to all who all reading these words. I truly hope you can say, as my Amy did, that when your time on this earth ends, you will hear Jesus call and you will rise and worship Him.

Friday, April 11, 2014

I am always on God's mind.

Our family went to the cemetery on the anniversary of the day Amy died. Bill and I, Tess and her new husband,  Emily, and James and his wife, Laura. Tess was in charge of getting some helium balloons for us all to release. She brought 8. One for each of us and one for the baby that Laura is expecting. This little baby will never know his/her Aunt Amy, but only by pictures, stories we tell, and the "things" Amy has left behind.  Here is what Amy's grave looked like on the 8th.

 





 The crocus bulbs we mass planted on her grave before we put the grass seed on are coming up and blooming. In a few more days it should be covered with blooms.


We all sang a verse of "Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone" and then let our balloons go. It was windy, but the wind had stopped for just a moment and the balloons went almost straight up so very high, almost as if they were flying straight up to heaven.












































Last year I posted this on my facebook page on this very day. 

April 11, 2013

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Thanks to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I can still say and believe those words today. I am learning to live without Amy. I will always have a hole in my heart and life but I must go on and learn to live the life God wants me to live. I know He loves me and is always with me.