Thursday, August 8, 2013

Four Months

Four months ago I was visiting with a dear friend for a few minutes after she had come to say "Goodbye" to my sweet Amy. I didn't realize that Amy would only live for a few more hours. This friend and I have a bond now, whether she knows it or not, because she was the last of my friends to see Amy alive on this earth. 
She was the first of my friends that I met for breakfast out and a visit. Four months! It has taken me that long to want to be with a friend again. I missed knowing what was going on with her family and being able to tell her about mine. It was a good visit, we lingered over our breakfast for two hours. It was just like old times but yet it wasn't.  I don't know if I will ever feel like I used to as there is always a sadness lurking in the back of my heart. 
Tuesday evening my daughter-in-law had us up for a meal. Our whole family has eaten together in our house, but I have made our kitchen table smaller, so we all crowd around it to eat. My dining room table is still filled with Amy's stuff and I'm not sure when we will use the dining room again. My hubby and I drove the 1/4 mile to our son's house because of my knee, but my girls decided to walk up. They started up ahead of us and that is when the tears started. They are beautiful young women. So slender and pretty. The oldest with long straight hair and the youngest with long very curly hair.  The two of them walking up the path with the mountain behind them is an image in my mind I will never forget. Why do children grow up so fast? The oldest used to carry the youngest around on her hip like a little mama and the youngest was such a little pill! 
They are beautiful on the inside, too. I'm so proud that they are both trusting their future to the Lord and His desires for them.
As we gathered around the table holding hands for prayer, it seemed so empty, with only the six of us. It has always been six, but then my son added his bride and we were seven. But know we are only six again. The intense longing for Amy would not stop and I had to release my tears. My family is just not complete anymore. 
Through tears I told my son and d.i.l. that they better hurry up and have some babies. But my oldest wisely said that wouldn't make our family complete. It will never be complete here on this earth again. 
But.   For.   God.
Our family will be complete some day. 

Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Pictures of my girls from a few years ago.

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