Last year, sometime in the fall after Amy had died, I purchased two solar angel lights. One for the cemetery and one for the little space of ground outside of Amy's bedroom window, now Bill's and my bedroom. It is a big picture window and I can see where I planted the bulbs that were given as gifts after Amy left us and it is always where I had a little grouping of dwarfs for fun. There is also a large statue of a little girl with butterfly wings. She could be a fairy or an angel. I just thought she was adorable and bought her quite a few years ago. Easter Sunday morning, we got up early for sunrise service and the solar angel was still lit up. I was so surprised as it has never lasted all night before. Coincident? I looked at it and smiled and said, "Happy Easter, Amy, Jesus is Alive, He lives!"
During the Easter service "I Will Rise" was one of the specials, sung by a couple that I am sure didn't know it was "Amy's song." Of course it brought tears, but how sweet it was to hear it and imagine Amy singing those words. Coincident?
Coming back from town this week I decided to stop at the cemetery. I didn't have the radio on but decided to turn it on just a few miles from the cemetery. No voices, no announcer, but just the beginning notes of the song, "I Will Rise." I sat in the car and listened to each word and then started to sing it softly. It was quiet after the song ended and I turned off the radio quickly and walked over to Amy's grave. Was this just a coincident also?
I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in God.
I choose to believe that God was comforting my soul.
This morning in Sunday School we started a series of videos by Ann Voskamp. I read Ann's book, "One Thousand Gifts, a dare to live fully right where you are," about four years ago. I never knew in just a few short years that Amy wouldn't be with me anymore. This book made such an impact on my life, and I started my own 1000 gifts list of all that God had given me. Everyday I would jot down a few, sometimes 10 or more if it was a day where my heart saw the gifts God was giving me. I had reached over 2000........
and then Amy got sick..........
and then she died.
I quit writing down my gifts.
I came upon my little book of gifts when we moved our bedroom downstairs into Amy's room. I flipped through the pages. At that time I did not feel thankful and I don't remember what I did with it. In my grief I might have thrown it away. I hope not. I know that Amy's name was on quite a few of the pages as one of the precious gifts that I was thankful for.
This morning during the video, I decided I want to start again.
I want to physically write down what God has given me to be thankful for. In the act of writing it down, it helps affirm in my mind that I am truly thankful for that special gift.
I glanced down at the napkin I picked up with my cup of coffee.
On it was a beautiful butterfly.
Gift 1: butterflies on napkins