One week from today her sister will start her new life with her fiance.
My life has been filled with wedding preparations. The wedding will be here on our farm, so I have been cleaning and doing a little redecorating. Everyday I have cried about something that brings Amy to my mind.
On the wall in the office I recorded the children's height throughout the years. As I was vacuuming I glanced at the wall and my heart was filled with sorrow. I have four children. That always seemed like a lot! Now Amy's gone, James has been married for three years, Tessa will be married very soon and that leaves Emily, and she is 27. Where has the time gone since they stood against that wall and I marked their heights?
James, the youngest, is the tallest. Amy was the shortest. I was overwhelmed with missing her.
As I continue to clean, I am constantly reminded of things in the past. I decorate with gifts people have given me, things of my own making and photographs. I have a lot of items that were my sister's (she died when she was 42 of melanoma) my parents or grandparents on my side and my husband's side. They each have a memory and each made me think of Amy.
We have an old farmhouse and in our early years we would remodel one room at a time. We were married in the seventies, so there is wood paneling in almost every room. Having Amy in a wheel chair the wood would get marked up a lot on the corners or the door frames, mostly by me being in a hurry to push Amy! So a few times a year I would use a wood stain and cover up all the dents and scratches. As I have not done this for over a year, It was really hard for me to do this past week. I knew this would be the last time I would ever have to do this and even though it is a chore I used to complain about, I sorrowed over not ever having to do it again. I know that sounds silly, but it was how I felt.
Last Sunday an elderly lady asked me how I was doing and then asked me if I felt like a burden was lifted off me. I hope I didn't act too shocked. This dear lady had a sister who was mentally handicapped and she took care of her most of the time when she was younger. I know times would have been different back then, but I was very surprised that she referred to Amy as a burden.
Amy was challenging to take care of at times, but she was what the Lord gave me to do. I loved her deeply, I still do. I thought I would take care of her my whole life, but I was only given the privilege to care for her for the length of her life.
As we watched the Olympics last night, I remembered throughout the years of this always being a fun time for the family. Amy loved watching the figure skating. In the summer games, it was the gymnastics and the swimming and sometimes we would see the equestrian competitions.
But now Amy is able to do acrobatics and ride horses in heaven if she wishes!
I have finished my study of First Corinthians and the next to last chapter was so encouraging to me. Paul talks about heaven in Chapter 15.
Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?”
Someday Amy's death will not always bring sorrow.
I know that she will be with us this Saturday, watching from heaven and laughing for her sister and new brothers happiness.