Friday, February 21, 2014

Rejoicing admist sorrow

Brad's step-grandpa married them.

Tessa's wedding was beautiful. We had another snowfall starting the night before the wedding, so we had to shake snow off of some of the decorations, but most of them we didn't  put out until right before the ceremony.  She was married at 4:00 pm and the snow stopped by noon. It was in the lower 30's and there were some gusts of wind that blew the snow in among those of us that were seated, but once she came down to the arbor, the wind stopped and it was quiet for the ceremony. She always wanted to be married outside, I just never thought it would be in February.  The picture below is taken on a pretty road about a mile from our house. The cemetery where Amy is buried is on the wooded hill in the background and our farm is just on the other side of the hill below the mountain.

She remembered Amy in the jewelry she chose to wear, using Amy's fingerprint, with a single pearl that was from a necklace of her grandmas, and also in the many butterflies she had in her flower arrangements and her bouquet.

A white butterfly in the middle of her bouquet in memory of Amy.

After the ceremony and picture taking we went to the reception inside the resort where Tessa works. It was so beautiful and the food was delicious. We had more pictures taken after the meal and this is when I finally fell apart for a short while. We took the family photo and my heart was aching, because there is a hole in our family now. Even with Brad filling an extra spot, the hole is still there. Unseen by anyone viewing this, but in my heart it is there. Amy should be in her chair right beside Tessa (blocking Emily's weird pose) and I should have my arm down in front holding her hand. I can see her there and she would be so very, very happy. Amy loved Brad, too. When they first starting dating she would make eyes at him as only Amy could do.

Then Suzanna (the photographer) took some pictures of just the kids. My kids, goofing off. James picked up Tessa and held her and they were all laughing and I couldn't keep the tears in any longer.  
They were all very kind and waited for me to control myself. Tessa was so strong. There were no tears from her on her wedding day!  I was able to get in a few more photos although with not as much makeup and shiny red eyes!

The last few days have been filled with packing up and moving Tessa's stuff out of her apartment. But I have had time to study God's word each day. In Second Corinthians 5, Paul talks about what is temporary and what is eternal. Verses 6-9 help me to have courage and to be pleasing to God.
"Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord— for we walk by faith, not by sight— we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.  Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him."
And also today, as I was reading Chapter 6, I was encouraged to accept the results of this sinful, yet redeemed, life. I know that God has a plan for me, just as He had for Amy.  Paul suffered much more than I have, but he wrote in verse 10, "as sorrowful yet always rejoicing". That is what I want to try to achieve...... always rejoicing even if I feel sorrow.

And more news to rejoice over.......James and Laura are going to have a baby around the end of September. I'm finally going to be a grandma!

Photographer's web site


  1. Oh, Cheryl,
    The pictures are beautiful. I thought of you all that day: with the snow falling, what will you do, etc. But God controlled it all, didn't he :) Congratulations on being a grandma. I knew that has been a longing for you.
    I sent you an email the other day in case you haven't looked at them. I've been thinking of you a lot lately.
    Love and prayers,
    Brenda Heisey
    p.s. Can't wait to tell the family about James and Laura

  2. Thank you, again, for sharing your heart. I love the pics of the wedding and can just imagine Amy sitting there, among you all.
    I am so excited for you, that you and Bill will be grandparents! There's no other feeling like it in the world! Love you all,