I Have A Song

June has seemed to fly by and we are already in July. Yesterday was the 27th month of missing Amy. Little things have brought so many tears to my eyes the last couple of weeks. Saying good bye to my parents was extremely hard. I'm not sure when I will see them again. Their health is poor and they still continue to live on the farm I grew up on, where they have lived for 55 years and in the same house my dad helped his father build when he was 15. Daddy turned 85 while I was there and Mama will be 85 in September. They do not have anyone come in to help them. My dad did agree that it was time to contact an agency. I try not to worry, but put my faith in our Lord that He will give them wisdom and strength. I took so many things for granted when I was a child. One was sunsets. Surrounded by mountains for the last 38 years, I have missed sunsets like this one.

It was so good to see the grand kids again! They had grown in just the few short weeks I had been away. As had my garden and flowers, too! We had lots of rain, sunshine and heat, perfect for growing. Something else was new.....a kitten. We named her Emmie.

See the M on her forehead? Not a very original name, I know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We wanted to get a dog this spring since Tipps died last fall. The humane society rejected us since we weren't going to keep it inside the house, so spring passed.  I had been praying about it, knowing that God had the right dog for us. So just a week after I was home I saw an ad in the paper for lab puppies. I called and we now have a puppy! Bill named her Ebony. She is so much fun, a little bit of work, and torture on my flowers!

 Ebony, our newest addition at 7 weeks, with our oldest cat, Bilbo, 15 years.

Little things with the babies have reminded me of Amy. Will has started to eat cut up food. He sometimes hides some of it in his cheeks. Amy used to do that. Marissa stares up at the ceiling. What does she see up there? Amy used to do that too. I think she could see things that we couldn't. Like angels. Maybe babies do too. Doesn't the Bible tell us that each little one has an angel watching over them?    Matthew 18:10

I never thought I would be sterilizing baby bottles again, but I am. I have watched Marissa Amy for two days now. Her mommy went back to work full time on the 4th of July.  As I held her yesterday and rocked her, in the chair I rocked all my babies in, I told her that she would have loved her Aunt Amy's room. She would have loved all the flowers and butterflies and the fairy that hung from the ceiling. I started weeping for all the things she will never know about her Aunt. Part of me wished I had kept Amy's room exactly the same, but the other part of me knows that we did the right thing by moving our bedroom downstairs into her room.
I shared my thoughts with Tess when she came to pick Mari up.... my sorrow that Mari will never know the sweet aunt that she was named after. In one simple sentence Tess made me realize where my heart thoughts should be dwelling. She said, "Marissa, hopefully, will know her someday." Yes, that is what I need to think of when I start feeling blue....the future. I need to be in prayer now for my grandchildren, that they will come to know the Lord at an early age and that I will be the kind of grandma that He wants me to be. Amy was what kept me close to God, because she was so needy and yet so pure and Christ-like. She is not here, but my grand kids are and they need me!

Marissa Amy has grown so much! I love her chubby legs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Will and Laura came to visit yesterday and we decided to get a little fresh air. 

This past Sunday a beautiful young mother sang a song I had never heard before. It really touched my heart and blessed me.  I looked up the video and it was filmed at a place Tess and I had visited in Israel many years ago. Here is the link to it.


I have a song
I Have a Song
Shannon J. Wexelberg

When the world is up against me
When it seems I’ve lost it all
And my back’s against the wall
When my heart’s grown dry and empty
When the life that I had planned
Is slipping through my hands
I hear sweet music rise above it all
And when it seemed my hope had ended, I was wrong

I have a song
And I’m singing to my Savior
Singing to the One who set me free
I have a song
And my heart will ever praise Him
This world can never take this joy from me
When all else is gone
I have a song

When I cannot see tomorrow
When the questions flood my mind
Looking back on wasted time
When my soul is full of sorrow
When the pain won’t go away
And such brokenness remains
I join the music rising far above it all
It’s an anthem to my true and faithful God

 I have a song
And I’m singing to my Savior
Singing to the One who set me free
I have a song
And my heart will ever praise Him
This world can never take this joy from me
When all else is gone
I have a song

I sing because I’m happy
I sing because I’m free
For His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me!

 I have a song
And I’m singing to my Savior
Singing to the One who set me free
I have a song
And my heart will ever praise Him
This world can never take this joy from me
When all else is gone
I have a song


I, too, have a song. This is not how I planned for my life to be and sometimes my soul is still full of sorrow and the pain won't go away, but....
I have a song. I'm singing to my Savior, singing to the One who set me free, and my heart will ever praise Him. 
I have a song.