Last year, sometime in the fall after Amy had died, I purchased two solar angel lights. One for the cemetery and one for the little space of ground outside of Amy's bedroom window, now Bill's and my bedroom. It is a big picture window and I can see where I planted the bulbs that were given as gifts after Amy left us and it is always where I had a little grouping of dwarfs for fun. There is also a large statue of a little girl with butterfly wings. She could be a fairy or an angel. I just thought she was adorable and bought her quite a few years ago. Easter Sunday morning, we got up early for sunrise service and the solar angel was still lit up. I was so surprised as it has never lasted all night before. Coincident? I looked at it and smiled and said, "Happy Easter, Amy, Jesus is Alive, He lives!"
During the Easter service "I Will Rise" was one of the specials, sung by a couple that I am sure didn't know it was "Amy's song." Of course it brought tears, but how sweet it was to hear it and imagine Amy singing those words. Coincident?
Coming back from town this week I decided to stop at the cemetery. I didn't have the radio on but decided to turn it on just a few miles from the cemetery. No voices, no announcer, but just the beginning notes of the song, "I Will Rise." I sat in the car and listened to each word and then started to sing it softly. It was quiet after the song ended and I turned off the radio quickly and walked over to Amy's grave. Was this just a coincident also?
I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in God.
I choose to believe that God was comforting my soul.
This morning in Sunday School we started a series of videos by Ann Voskamp. I read Ann's book, "One Thousand Gifts, a dare to live fully right where you are," about four years ago. I never knew in just a few short years that Amy wouldn't be with me anymore. This book made such an impact on my life, and I started my own 1000 gifts list of all that God had given me. Everyday I would jot down a few, sometimes 10 or more if it was a day where my heart saw the gifts God was giving me. I had reached over 2000........
and then Amy got sick..........
and then she died.
I quit writing down my gifts.
I came upon my little book of gifts when we moved our bedroom downstairs into Amy's room. I flipped through the pages. At that time I did not feel thankful and I don't remember what I did with it. In my grief I might have thrown it away. I hope not. I know that Amy's name was on quite a few of the pages as one of the precious gifts that I was thankful for.
This morning during the video, I decided I want to start again.
I want to physically write down what God has given me to be thankful for. In the act of writing it down, it helps affirm in my mind that I am truly thankful for that special gift.
I glanced down at the napkin I picked up with my cup of coffee.
On it was a beautiful butterfly.
Gift 1: butterflies on napkins
http://www.amazon.com/One-Thousand-Gifts-Study-Fully/dp/0310684390/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1398635535&sr=8-11&keywords=ann+voskamp#
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Amy's Song
On the anniversary of Amy's funeral, April 13th, my sister and my niece posted this picture on facebook. My niece added this message:
"Words can't express how much this picture means to me. Its one of those rare opportunities when everyone I love so dearly were gathered in one spot. Although I wish it was under different circumstances, this is one of my favorite pictures of my whole life."
My sweet parents are in the middle, my two sisters with their families to my left, my own family to my right and my dear sister-in-law (who has always been like my own sister) is to my far right. I've got my eyes closed and a small smile on my face. The last time we were all together was almost 10 years before for my parents 50th anniversary. Three more children had joined the family, and now one was missing.
One was missing.......my precious Amy.
Even though we are all together, I will never frame this picture or display it. I see smiles, but I only feel sorrow. Isn't it strange how the outside of the face doesn't always show what is in the heart?
A few days ago my sister posted Chris Tomlin's "I Will Rise."
Even though most refer to "Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone", as Amy's song, in my heart "I Will Rise" is truly Amy's song. This is the one she wanted to sing, that came from her heart. I wrote about this on July 27, 2013.
http://thisisamystory.blogspot.com/2013/07/i-will-rise.html
As I was listening to it one more time, I seemed to hear it anew. Amy doesn't have any sorrow or pain anymore. She is hearing the angels sing, "Worthy is the Lamb,"
She is singing..........
How can I be sad?
My Amy is singing!
She doesn't have anymore pain!
She is happy!
I have reason to rejoice this Easter!
To listen to Chris Tomlin sing this song, click on the link below.
I Will Rise
"I Will Rise"
"Words can't express how much this picture means to me. Its one of those rare opportunities when everyone I love so dearly were gathered in one spot. Although I wish it was under different circumstances, this is one of my favorite pictures of my whole life."
My sweet parents are in the middle, my two sisters with their families to my left, my own family to my right and my dear sister-in-law (who has always been like my own sister) is to my far right. I've got my eyes closed and a small smile on my face. The last time we were all together was almost 10 years before for my parents 50th anniversary. Three more children had joined the family, and now one was missing.
One was missing.......my precious Amy.
Even though we are all together, I will never frame this picture or display it. I see smiles, but I only feel sorrow. Isn't it strange how the outside of the face doesn't always show what is in the heart?
A few days ago my sister posted Chris Tomlin's "I Will Rise."
Even though most refer to "Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone", as Amy's song, in my heart "I Will Rise" is truly Amy's song. This is the one she wanted to sing, that came from her heart. I wrote about this on July 27, 2013.
http://thisisamystory.blogspot.com/2013/07/i-will-rise.html
As I was listening to it one more time, I seemed to hear it anew. Amy doesn't have any sorrow or pain anymore. She is hearing the angels sing, "Worthy is the Lamb,"
She is singing..........
How can I be sad?
My Amy is singing!
She doesn't have anymore pain!
She is happy!
I have reason to rejoice this Easter!
To listen to Chris Tomlin sing this song, click on the link below.
I Will Rise
| And here are the words. |
There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
Happy Easter to all who all reading these words. I truly hope you can say, as my Amy did, that when your time on this earth ends, you will hear Jesus call and you will rise and worship Him.
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
Happy Easter to all who all reading these words. I truly hope you can say, as my Amy did, that when your time on this earth ends, you will hear Jesus call and you will rise and worship Him.
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