Amy's Legacy

Legacy

1. a gift of property, especially personal property, as money, by will; a bequest.

2. anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor: the legacy of ancient Rome.

Today is the 19th month anniversary of Amy's leaving us. 
Has it gotten any easier?
In some ways. But I don't think my life will ever be the same; there will always be this sadness that is now a part of my soul. There are still tears, times where I feel like I can't go on. But there are more times of peace, contentment and joy than there are tears. 

Tis the season.....right?
Last year I tried to avoid Christmas. We went away for three weeks. I couldn't abide being here. 
This year we are staying home. We are facing Christmas. We are going to celebrate the best we can. 
It was painful to get out the fall decorations. I can't imagine how painful it will be to get out the Christmas ones! But I'm going to do it. 
Coming home from a shopping trip with my oldest a few days ago, we drove through a little town that always has a huge Christmas tree lit up right alongside the road. It was already lit! I was still weepy from the movie and this was just too much. Amy loved seeing Christmas lights. She loved to see that tree on our yearly shopping trip. Sometime the missing is so intense. I cried buckets.

A few weeks ago I heard the promo for a new song and I finally found it on YouTube. I have enjoyed the music of Mark Shultz since I first heard his song, "He's My Son" in 1998 or 99.  When I saw the promo for this new song I knew it would touch my heart, but not expecting it to so dramatically say what I am going through this year.


A Different Kind of Christmas
by Mark Shultz

Snow is falling Christmas Eve
Lights are coming on up and down the street
The sound of carols fills the air
And people rushing home, families everywhere

Putting candles in the windows
Lights upon the tree
But there's no laughter in this house
Not like there used to be
There's just a million little memories
That remind me you're not here
It's just a different kind of Christmas this year

In the evening fires glow
Dancing underneath the mistletoe
A letter left from Santa Claus
Won't be the same this year in this house because

There's one less place set at the table
One less gift under the tree
And a brand new ache to take their place inside of me
I'm unwrapping all these memories
Fighting back the tears
It's just a different kind of Christmas this year

There's voices in the driveway
Families right outside the door
And we'll try to make this Christmas like the ones we've had before
As we gather round the table, I see joy on every face
And I realize what's still alive is the legacy you made

It's time to put the candles in the windows, the lights upon the tree
It's time to fill this house with laughter like it used to be
Just because you're up in heaven, doesn't mean you're not near
It's just a different kind of Christmas
It's just a different kind of Christmas this year

The last lines shook me to my core.

And I realize what's still alive is the legacy Amy madeIt's time to put the candles in the windows, the lights upon the tree
It's time to fill our home with laughter like it used to be
Just because Amy's up in heaven, doesn't mean she's not near
It's just a different kind of Christmas this year.

But what is Amy's legacy?  She didn't own property, she didn't have anything of worldly value that she left to us. She couldn't speak or write, so there is not even anything in print that was from her hand. What is her legacy?

These are some of the things that Amy left me:

--because of Amy I have the ability to see all forms of disabilities with love and compassion 
--Amy loved with unconditional love.No matter my physical or mental pain, can I love others the way she taught me to love?
--Because of her love for certain things I have the knowledge of every line to Veggie Tales and Disney movies memorized. (I'm trying my best to forget Hannah Montana).

I asked my husband to think on this and gave him a few days. He said that Amy's legacy is the impact she made on other people. 

If Amy made an impact on your life, if she changed you somehow by knowing her, if she left you a legacy............
will you tell me? 
I need to know to be able to DO Christmas this year. 
I need to know that her life meant something to others beside just me.  
Please comment, message me, email me, or the old fashioned way of writing a note. 
I am going to print them out so I can remember, when I hit those low moments, of what Amy's legacy is.